


Molva

by Hafay



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Dimensions, Angst, Fili isn't happy, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, M/M, My First Fanfic, Thorin gets his bitch slap, Time Travel, Violence, Wounds, bamf!Kili, hurt!Kili
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hafay/pseuds/Hafay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili saw the death of his Fee as he died at the feet of Erebor. His wounds didn't kill him, because he is back at the beginning of the Company's journey. Fee is alive, and Kili is ready...ready to do anything - everything to make sure that his Fee never leaves him again. This is the story of how one young dwarf was so lost that he couldn't even find his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Blood Is So Quiet.

The last image I saw was of my Fili. My dear brothers face pressing into my shoulder as I begged for him to wake again. His still form convulsed in strange twitches as I shook him for dear life. The battle around us raged, the soil churning, the blood shattering, and all the while Uncle’s madness rages. My screams were not heard over the steal blades and swift arrows that the battle screamed of. I pressed my face close to my love and held it there as I felt my death take me. Arrows pierced me, swift to their points and through me. It was strange how little I felt in the absence of happiness and hope. Pressed to my brother, I died.

Drifting through the darkness: it was what I imagine a babe felt in the womb. When feeling came back to me, it was the feeling of death. Every thump of my heart convulsed in my ears, every twitch shattered my skin, and every sound rethreaded my veins. I peeled my eyes open to darkness. I heard the shuddered snoring of others along with the press of arms around my waist. What I felt for certain, though, was the holes that went through me. Blood was seeping from my lips and the blood seeping from my dead heart was tainting my clothes. I looked blearily around and froze at the sight before me. The company all huddled around a warm fire, sleeping. My Fili cuddled into my front, his face peaceful and soft. I lifted my bloodstained hands and touched him. I sobbed at the feeling of his breath, the sound of his heartbeat.  
Fili’s eyes fluttered slightly before resting again. I couldn’t stray from his face even with my body slowly shutting down from blood loss. I pressed my hands tighter to my Fili. If I was to die, then it would be in the arms of my very alive love. Fili’s eyes blinked open and I saw a reprimand for me build only for it to still on Fili’s lips: his face froze at the sight of me.  
“K-Kee?” Fili whispered. Suddenly his hands lifted to my blood covered face.  
“THORIN!” Fili yelled looking over his shoulder, pressing me to the ground and yelling for the others. I could only look at him. I didn’t notice that Fili had aged so much on our travels. The Fili in my fingers was so much younger than the one who had stood between me a shot arrow. I whimpered as Fili was torn from me and the face of Uncle took his place. His hands touched along my blood stained face as Oin began to strip me of my shirts.  
“F-fee”I called, my voice whimpering. I reached out blindly for my love. Fingers wrapped around mine as Oin finally got my clothes off. I briefly looked down to see two bloody gapes in my torso. I felt the hand in mine begin to shake as I quietly slipped back into my womb of silence. 

There were flashes of light, so subtle and quick that I could hardly remember their importance. However, I did slowly come back to myself when there was a sharp enough jolt. I felt sun on my skin and the gentle rocking of walking. The smell of my love filled me up more than his arms around me did. I opened my eyes to see the strong neck of my Fee. I shifted my neck only for it to role of my Fee’s shoulders. My whole body felt weak and feverish. Fili’s hands wrapped around me and pulled me close. He had paused as he saw my open eyes, just staring at me. I could have looked at my love’s face for days. Fee broke his eye contact with me and called out to the rest of the company. I felt my rage fill me as I was placed face-to-face with the murderer of my Fee. 

“Hello Nephew…”


	2. The Things That Shatter Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is ready to bitch slap a certain Uncle.

“Hello Nephew.” Uncle spoke, his face surprisingly tender and soft. Fee’s hands were draped just under my aching chest, sloping down the pane of my stomach to rest stray fingers on my hips. Fee had kneeled to place me on the soft soil of the ground, settling his front to my back. It was the strangest pleasure to feel Fee’s strong arms around me with his breath shifting my hair in soft wisps: this was how I wished the rest of my life to be. I resolved myself to my strengths and stared down my Uncle. I made my eyes unwavering; my heart betrayed my worry only to my Fee who could feel every twitch of my being through us. If it meant killing Uncle to keep my Fee, I would sever the very head from Uncle’s shoulders a million times over.  
“Thorin” I said, acknowledging Uncle after many a breath. The Company shuffled in discomfort of my harsh voice. I felt Fee’s hands lightly trace my hips either to comfort me or to distract me from my hate.  
“It’s Uncle to you, Kili, now what, for Mahal’s sake, happened to you?” Uncle said, kneeling closer to me. I tightened my fingers to keep them from striking the murderer.  
“Tell me then, Uncle, I seem to have misplaced my thoughts: are we on the journey to reclaim Erebor?” I said, trying to keep my voice light from the dark places my voice was tempted to settle into. Uncle shuffled his feet, lines creasing his brow as worry worked his lips.  
“Yes, nephew, we are on the journey to reclaim Erebor…“ Uncle said, tilting his head to look past me to my Fee. My love’s fingers carded through my hair, touching along the sensitive skin of my nape. Flashes of golden hair mixing with mine and of hands reaching past hips to wrap around—I should not think of these things now.  
“Did you bump your head, Kee?” my love said into my ear.  
“It is not my head you should be worried about, Fee. “ I said softly to him before turning to Uncle, closer now, peeking over my shoulder to look at my love. Flashes of my crazed Uncle flashed through me at a pace that stuttered at my aching heart. I remember the sight of Bilbo splayed on the ground after Uncle had choked him to his death for giving the Arkenstone away to the enemy: for saving us all. I saw the features of an insane dwarf as he abandoned my dying Fee to attack at Azog, the white orc. I remember the legions of dwarfs, elves, and men slaughtered across the feet of Erebor because of this insane dwarf. My clenched fingers drew blood, begging my form to take me from these visions only for my horror to shatter me at the vision of my dying love settled on the ground with arrows sticking from him like quills of a porcupine.  
I lifted my face to look at my murderer. I grabbed him by the tunic and punched straight up into his chin. The murderer’s face snapped back, landing in a pile of disgust on the ground. I couldn’t hurt him enough for this pain. I never could.  
“You want to know what happened, UNCLE? We found Erebor and we reclaimed our home only for you to ruin EVERYTHING! You killed thousands, all because of your madness: YOUR INSANITY! You had the sickness! You killed my Fee, and you killed me too!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Hello lovely, thank you for reading this chapter. I hate how short I'm writing (frankly, when I'm typing this up it feels like I'm going through chapters and chapters of writing only for it to be a small summary size :[ )
> 
> ANYWAY: Here is my new comment question:  
> Do you think that Kili will carry on with the journey to Erebor, or will he bring the whole thing to a halt?


	3. The Time My Insanity Took Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is ready to fight tooth and nail for his Fee, even if that means walking through dimension and time to do just that.

Fingers dragged down my face, dirt slicked down my ears and fever beat down my throat. Four pairs of heavy hands were holding me down as the murderer tried to stand up. I kicked out managing to land a heavy hit to Dwalin’s thigh. Dwalin’s fingers around the crown of my head clenched harshly to hold me into the soil. I looked wildly through dragging fingers for my Fee.  
A thread of gold flashed through the net of fingers: Fili was kneeled next to the murderer. I thrashed harsher against the limbs holding me down. I must—need to—my Fee!  
My hands were forced behind my back where a cord stripped me of mobility. Gloin was sat on my chest to keep me still as they hog-tied me. I hissed at them as they wandered over to gather around the murderer.  
“Calm down lad, you’re sick with fever. Calm yourself.” Gloin said, resting his fingers against my temple. I twisted to snap at his fingers. I felt my own insanity bite at the edges of my soul as I watched my Fee help the murderer. These people do not know the face of this devil but they will soon enough. When the devil snaps out their sparks of life, they will know.  
The Company gathered to speak among themselves, their harsh eyes outlining my form. Fee wasn’t looking at me from the murderer’s side. The murderer was speaking harshly with Balin and Oin as he held his bruising chin. I began thrashing with new vigor when I suddenly got a throat full of soil. I spluttered against the ground trying to right my breathing when a hand laced into my hair. My head was pulled up from the veins of my hairs to stare at the steeled eyes of Dwalin. I coughed a few times more, my chest shutting down in agony from my wounds.   
I met Dwalin’s gaze defiantly in a challenge; Dwalin’s fingers tightened harshly in my hair and shoved my face into the ground to silence my curses and feeble arguments that hadn't stopped spilling from my lips during my “capture.”   
“Stop this! Please, Dwalin.” the voice of my love said, distracting the brute who unraveled his fingers from my tangled locks.   
“He is completely insane, Thorin. Whatever happened to him has cracked the boy down to his seams.” Dwalin huffed, crossing his arms. With Dwalin’s back to me, I couldn’t see the face of my Fee. I spat defiantly at Dwalin’s heels.  
“I’m not some incompetent child, Dwalin! I have been trying to tell you—“  
“STOP KILI…just stop.” Fee said, covering his face with shoulders shaking.  
“You have to believe me Fee!” I begged, trying to get out of my bindings. The heavy dwarf on me didn’t help.  
“You’re sick, Kee! Nothing you say makes any sense. We’ll take him to the elves, Uncle, to help him? Please!” my love asked the murderer in desperation. I stopped struggling. What on earth is this? What has happened to my Fee? My Fee would have defended me, even if I was completely wrong or insane. Who was this Fili? I began to run my eyes over the company. Small differences made my heart race: Where was Bifur’s ax wound? What was Ori doing with tattoos? What is this nightmare?   
However, my eyes landed on one person. A man, not a dwarf or hobbit, was seated on a tree stump watching the seen unfold before him. His face was stone cold, lips a thin line of indifference. He had these strange violet eyes and flowing black clothes. My eyes strayed on his weapon of choice however. In his hands was a sleek piece of a dark wood which had a deep “V” at the very top where a clear stone was seated. Gandalf’s stone.   
This place, these people, this dimension was not my own. As my eyes rested on Fili, I felt myself begin to shudder. This was not my Fee, my Fee was in some other god-forsaken realm laid out dead with the insane murderer. I was not only sent back in time, but to a different timeline all together. I sobbed in agony as what I had left of myself abandoned me.   
I am forever lost. I closed my eyes, slowly being numbed to the feeling around me. When I cracked my eyes open again, I was laid out in a large field, alone.   
What nightmare am I cursed with now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovely, thank you for reading! Yes, I had a rough idea that this was what was going to happen from the very beginning. Sorry to say, but this is only the beginning of poor Kili's journey. I mean, the things that are worth fighting for are the hardest battles, no?
> 
> This time around for my comment question I have two questions:  
> Is Kili completely insane?  
> What dimension has Kili landed himself this time?


	4. Shade of the Leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the difference between death and life is a simple reminder.

The field stretched for miles. Twisting between the soft patches was a stone path beaten into the soil from centuries of walking. In this field, I lost all of myself. I couldn’t stop my tears and the sobs that sprouts from my soul shattered frame. I can’t feel. I don’t want to feel. I want my Fee. In this field I lost hope.  
What might have been a day later, I cracked my eyes open to the soft twilight in the field. I saw the small stars looking down on me, the moon hidden behind me. I shifted my form closer inward, wrapping myself in my grief. In a field not like this one, my Fee is laid dead with the murderer ravaging the land. This world is too much to live without my Fee. I refuse.  
It was to my discomfort to feel something wrap around my waist and lift me up. I shivered away from the contact, but I was too weak from blood loss and hunger to do much of anything. I passed between my womb of silence and the real world many times during a long period of time. It became nicer, peaceful even: this was death.  
But that comfort, that of death, was stolen from me when I woke to the field yet again. I rolled onto my side and looked over to the horizon. Instead of the smooth, endless field I expected there was a single tree settled in the middle of it all. All around the tree was a smooth path of rocks, but beyond that, there was no sign of life anywhere—  
“You are wrong, young dwarfling. I am a life, no?” a voice whispered on the wind. I looked around blearily, my weak form too clunky to move quickly. Looking around, there was no one.  
“W-who’s it?” I slurred; my lips feeling strangely numb. I looked around wildly only for it to land on the tree. It’s branches weaved and it’s roots lifted, upturning the soft soil, to turn to me. Seated in between two long branches was a soft face. The face was strangely feminine in comparison to her---er it’s hard exterior.  
“Ha, good! You can joke now. Your mind is healed along with your body.” The tree said slowly. The tree approached and settled next to me.  
“Wha?” I asked. The face smiled kindly, pressing a hand (?) to the top of my head. I froze as I quickly felt at my hair. I screamed in agony at the short cropped hair met with my palm, tears streaming down my face. I sobbed, almost screaming, as I pulled at my hair begging for it all to be a dream. Through the haze of my agony, a soft song wormed through. The tree’s hands were uncurling me and lifting me. I was wrapped up close to the tree as she sung in a slow, strangely soothing voice.  
“I know, I cannot be forgiven for allowing your pain young dwarfling, but it had to be done. For your journey to truly matter, you must destroy who you were into who you must be. Only then will you get your love back.” the tree said softly, rocking me as my sobs died down. I studied her words closely. If I had to cut my hair a thousand times over just to keep my Fee alive, I would do so a million times. I gulped down my sobs as the tree put me down.  
“Oh, and I’m an ent, child, not a tree.” the tree toned, setting my properly. I scrubbed the tracks of tears from my eyes as she stood.  
“Dear child, you will do things, horrible things to keep your one, but these things, as horrible and uncontrollable as they are, all matter. Do not lose your hopes, your dreams, because you will always find your end then. I might not be able to pull you from your insanity like I have done today. Be careful, little dwarfling. Know you are loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely, thank you for reading. Whew, now we are starting to role in this adventure. 
> 
> A question for my dear readers:  
> Who do you think the ent is?  
> Why does Kili need to cut his hair?


End file.
